We're Tired of #CelebrityFails And We Have Just One Thing To Say

Naaila Khan

So did you hear about your fave, Taylor Swift? I texted my best friend, a diehard Swiftie since the Teardrops On My Guitar days in school.

Yeah, I’m feeling really bad :( , she replied.

Her answer probably sums up the feelings of my entire generation. We’re disgruntled, we’ve been let down and there’s no reason to live anymore. Or well, to scroll down our gossipy newsfeeds at least. (I personally don't care though, I always knew Tay-Tay was a not-so-innocent-pop-princess-with-an-agenda. #TeamKimye)

In a millennial drama of sorts, one that will perhaps be the most memorable to come out of 2016 pop culture, reality star Kim Kardashian exposed the shady ways of America’s current past sweetheart, Taylor Swift, by making perhaps the best use of any social media platform ever – a series of Snapchat exposé videos as receipts of her husband’s innocence concerning the lyrics of his song (ironically titled) ‘Famous’. Tiny 10 second bombs that are now cause of death for the cold-blooded popstar. No, seriously, someone made a mural.

The Swift girl squad remained surprisingly silent on the most part (except for Selena Gomez, who got trolled in turn) and someone edited Tay Tay's Wiki page to what is now urban pop lore – Taylor Swift’s a snake/Becky and she’s now dead. Twitterverse had at it, and the results were uproarious.




Which makes me wonder – our parents never had it so bad. They idolized their celebrities from a safe distance, applauded at the end of the concert/film and came back home content, knowing their superstars could would do no wrong – all while Michael Jackson did bad, bad things in his secret underage sex closet and Dr. Phil was getting his creepy kinky on. This willing suspension of disbelief perhaps insulated them from being disappointed by those they looked up to - it also helped that their proverbial newsfeeds didn’t blow up with posts and memes and videos speaking of deception.

But who’s going to protect us from the sham that is Melania Trump? If not for the prolific amount of hilarious memes and tweets it inspired, all that Trump’s speech – heavily inspired itself by Michelle Obama’s – left us doing, was shake our heads slowly.



But let’s break up the #KimExposedTaylorParty for a sec here guys. What are celebrities thinking when they’re lying through their teeth to their fans? To trusting fools who buy their albums and (hopefully not) vote for their husbands? Do they think they’d get away? Clearly not, if the recent #InstagramFails of Scott Disick and Naomi Campbell are to be taken into account. Those two didn’t give two ***** before copy-pasting the Insta captions for the product endorsements that are earning them million-dollar cheques. Proof reading be damned.

So here's it once and for all, you overly good looking, grotesquely rich people: We love you guys. We’ll read about what you bought at a supermarket run with more enthusiasm than Bruce Jenner playing with his helicopters, and we’ll glean over your relationships and subsequent breakups all in good faith, as if you were our own siblings. But we won’t have our feelings toyed with. We won’t have our #goals set by you and then have them shattered through the internet before our own eyes. It’s time you guys stopped messing with us. There are way too many real problems in the world to deal with than these first world ones.

And ICYMI: we make all you bitches famous. 



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